Trouble
by CassidyTVNut
Summary: A House POV Huddy Songfic...Song by Coldplay...Set when House is in Mayfield


Trouble

A House POV Huddy Songfic...Song by Coldplay...Set when House is in Mayfield

_**Oh no, I see,  
A spider web is tangled up with me.**_

Here I am, tangled in my own head, my mind playing tricks on me.

I never saw it before, but I've woken up from my haze to see how messed up I am.

I'm totally screwed, I don't know how I'll come back from it.

After hallucinating sleeping with Cuddy, I knew it had gone too far.

I needed help, because reality and fantasy has twisted in my head, bamboozling me, confounding me beyond all words, complicating my situation even more.

So Wilson drove me to Mayfield.

It was the last place I wanted to be, but it was the place I needed to be.

I needed to untangle myself, get better and try to reconstruct the relationships I had ruined.

_**  
And I lost my head,  
The thought of all the stupid things I'd said.**_

I thought back to what I said to Lisa.

I called her kid a bastard; that was the tipping point of everything I'd ever done to her.

I've held Rachel, I felt the connection with her, I saw that connection in Lisa's eyes.

It's a bond that beats any drug high you can imagine.

I've done some stupid things over the years, but that comment was so cruel, so heartless. I don't even know where this callous comment came from, because I certainly don't feel that way.

My mind doesn't feel like my own anymore, I can't even keep it under control anymore._****_

Oh no, what's this?  
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,

It confused me at first, I was convinced it was physical.

Then I looked deeper, and realised that it was psychological.

A web of the strongest design, weaved over years of emotional and physical abuse and torment.

And here I am in the middle, waiting to be eaten by the spider that is madness. I am just a little fly in the grand design of the world, unimportant, awaiting death.

_**  
So I turn to run,  
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,  
**_As I sit in my room engaged in thought, it gave me time to reflect on all the stupid things I did.

I electrocuted myself for God's sake!

I slept with a married woman and left her behind when she confessed her love for me.

I routinely sleep with hookers, because I'm shallow and can't be bothered to look for that intimate connection that comes from more than sex.

I don't take other people's feeling's into consideration, I openly undermine authority and make people feel small.

I'm an addict; Vicodin and Bourbon seem like my only lifeline some days.

My drunkeness killed my best friends girlfriend!

I alienated my best friend and the woman I love.

I really am an awful person.

_**  
And I never meant to cause you trouble,  
I never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
And oh no, I never meant to do you harm.**_

Sitting alone in this hellhole really does give you time to think.

And I feel like I should apologise for everything I ever did to everyone that hurt them.

I want them to know that I don't do it intentionally, it just happens.

I'm rapidly losing my control._****_

Oh no, I see,  
A spider web and it's me in the middle,

Here I am, caught in the middle, struggling to get out so badly, I won't address the problems that put me here.

The more I struggle, the longer I'll be stuck here.

_**  
So I twist and turn,  
Here am I in my little bubble,  
**_I isolate myself from others at first, and create a mile long bubble around me, not letting anyone get closer.

I toss and turn in my sleep, wondering if Lisa thinks of me, as I think of her.

She hasn't come to visit, no one has.

_**  
Singing I, never meant to cause you trouble,  
And I, never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.  
**_Being alone is great inspiration.

Music comes to my head, and I sing random lyrics.

I drum beats on my knee, and the music calms me.

Cuddy's serenade plays on a loop, comforting me and encouraging me to get better.

See?

I'm trying to change, but it's hard.

_**  
They spun a web for me,  
They spun a web for me,  
They spun a web for me.**_

I don't know who they are, but whoever they are need to sort themselves out.

Because I'm trying to change.


End file.
